


Sorrow

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-04
Updated: 2006-03-04
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:10:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8076556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Hoshi and Malcolm have a talk. (06/01/2003)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: Thanks to Mara, Chrysa, and PJ for reading the fic. I need three beta readers, well actually Mara and PJ beta-ed, I make Chrysa read everything I write, but I do appreciate it. So thanks guys.  


* * *

Malcolm and Hoshi sat quietly on the bio-beds in sickbay. The bustle of people running tests and voices of concerned crewmembers filled the room. It seemed so tiny with so many people scurrying about, yet to the both of them it seemed empty. Twenty-six days they had been gone, yet it felt like years. Too much had happened, yet so little time had passed.

Hoshi closed her eyes, she remembered how swift the attack had been, she and Malcolm had been easily over powered by the blur of assailants. The trip to their cell — for lack of a better word— never really had time to imprint itself in her memory. For the next twenty-six days she was cold, hungry, thirsty, wet, and most of all scared. Not just for her own life but for Malcolm's life as well; he'd not gone down quietly, he'd fought. He fought and lost, she remembered touching his wounds as he asked her to dress them. Their captors had realized one dead captive and one live captive were less valuable than two live captives. Hoshi thought back to what alive meant to them, just enough water and food, no blankets, barely sterile bandages. They were kept alive just enough to answer questions, and to provide suitable bargaining chips.

Hoshi thought back to how they were taken, a simple supply run. They were to be in and out in less then a few hours. Malcolm and Hoshi were on their way back to the launch site, they were within earshot of the pod. That was when they were taken, by a radical branch of the local military. They called themselves the Wakia, the silent captures, they were known to take aliens and hold them until a ransom was sent. Beatings and minor torture were not out of their league.

Hoshi opened her eyes to the bustle of sickbay. She watched as Phlox rechecked Malcolm's injuries; he cheerfully informed him that he was recovering nicely, and that he could return to his quarters. She watched as Malcolm merely nodded and slowly made his way past people and out the door. Phlox approached her next; he had already run tests for broken bones, internal bleeding, and other nasties, now he wanted to make sure her minor concussion was not causing her any extra discomfort. The rescue hadn't been easily, they never really were. Phlox also released her to her quarters.

The walk had was a slow one, people stopping her to welcome her home; she finally made it to her quarters. She stood under the running water; it had been too long since her last shower. There wasn't a word in any language which conveyed what she was feeling at that moment, so she relished in the feeling.

Once she made it to her bed she snuggled deep into the blankets and closed her eyes. As she relaxed, her mind traveled back to when she held Malcolm close to her, he was sick, his wounds were infected, and he kept saying the name Gina. She meant to ask him who Gina was after his fever had broke, but she was occupied with staying alive. Hoshi fell asleep wondering who Gina was.

Three weeks after their rescue Hoshi walked into the Star Lounge, she wanted solitude, it was usually deserted this time of night. She waited a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkened room. She looked around and noticed that she was not alone; quietly she made her way over to see Malcolm slumped on a sofa.

She whispered his name softly, "Malcolm?"

His head shot up to see her standing beside the sofa. He gestured for her to sit and they shared the comfort of silence together. Finally, Hoshi asked the question that had been on her mind since their captivity.

"Who is Gina?"

Malcolm's posture changed from one of relaxation to an alert one. He looked over at her, "How do you know about Gina?"

Hoshi answered softly, "You said her name several times when we were stuck back there, while you were sick."

Malcolm returned to his former position, only not quite as relaxed as he had been. She assumed he wasn't expecting her to ask that question. Or the fact that she even knew about Gina.

After a bit Hoshi said so softly, Malcolm wasn't sure he heard it, "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to."

Hoshi hugged herself as she watched the stars zoom past the window. Each star was a brief streak of light, nothing to distinguish it from one of its neighbors. Streak after streak flew past her, a part of her wondered if a planet with life on it made its orbit around that star. Another part of her just wanted to continue to zoom past all of the stars. She was so wrapped up in own thoughts she nearly missed Malcolm's soft voice.

"She was someone I loved very much."

Hoshi turned and looked at him. His features were more drawn out by the dim lighting and his eyes looked so tired. She let the words settle in, was, he referred to her in a past tense, so something must have happened to her, "What happened to her?"

Malcolm's breath came in a deep sigh, "She died in an accident, one of those freak accidents that no one could have stopped." Malcolm turned to face Hoshi, and continued, "She was my fiance. She was also an architect, she loved to draw, and she'd draw our dream house, room by room. She'd show me every single sketch and explain what each line meant and how the room would fill with light."

Malcolm paused, and took a deep breath before continuing, "She was six months pregnant, and we were going to have a little girl. She was called to a site; I was examining schematics when I found out." Malcolm's voice shook as he remembered the fear, the sheer panic that swept through his body when he heard Gina had been hurt.

Hoshi watched as Malcolm tried to compose himself. She reached out and gently squeezed his leg. She saw his eyes seem to stare off.

"They were able to keep her alive long enough to get the baby," a tear slipped down Malcolm's cheek. "Her little body was rushed to the intensive care section. She weighed about half a kilo. I'd never seen something so perfect, yet so small. She had ten fingers and ten toes. The doctors said that they would do everything thing they could to save her, but she was so little and had suffered so much trauma, they weren't sure if they could save her.

"The only contact I had with my daughter was through gloves, I couldn't hold her. Her body was covered in wires, her lungs filled with air pumped through a tube. Gina died on December 1st 2147 at 2:09 pm. Our baby girl, Faith Andrea Reed died two days later. Her little heart just stopped. Only after she died did I finally get to hold her. She was all wrapped up and had a little cap on her head. I got to hold her for twenty minutes.

"I buried my daughter and the woman I considered my wife two days later. Faith was nestled in Gina's arms. They were laid to rest in a little cemetery outside of San Francisco, it was raining."

Hoshi wiped the tears away from her face before she reached for him. She gently placed his head on her shoulder and began to run her fingers through his hair. She heard him exhale, his breath shaky. She continued her ministration as she absorbed what he had told her. Hoshi looked down at the man who had confided in her a part of him that was so painful. She felt it was only fair she confide in him.

"I was raped when I was seventeen." She watched his head snap up; "he was a friend of a friend. I thought he was so nice. We'd hang out with our mutual friend sometimes. He told me I was beautiful. I was walking home one day and he pulled up beside me and offered me a ride home. I hopped in; we decided to go do a bit of window shopping. We walked around for awhile; we finally started to go back to my house. Only he kept going, we wound up back at his place. He told me he needed to grab something and that I should come inside.

"He grabbed me once the door closed. He picked me up from behind and threw me onto the floor. I tried to get away but he tackled me and flipped me onto my back. He started to lift my shirt up and managed to get off. He then moved to my pants. I was screaming the entire time to stop and to just let me go. He stopped taking off my pants to hit me. The hit was so hard that I was disoriented, he finally got me undressed and he started to get undressed. I cried as he pulled my legs apart and I felt him enter me.

"I kept begging him to just stop. He finally told me to shut up or he'd kill me. So I closed my eyes and prayed for it to end. I felt my tears fall down the sides of my face as I cried silently. The more I cried, the harder he was. I finally felt him shudder and groan. He collapsed and after a few minutes he got up and threw my clothes at me and told me to get dressed."

Hoshi felt Malcolm's finger touch her face and she flinched. He whispered, "It's all right, it's just me."

Hoshi continued after taking a few deep breaths, "He drove me home, I was sitting as far away from him as I could. Once he let me out I ran into my house and up to my room. I cried myself to sleep. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. That's when I finally told someone. I told Sarah, who's my best-friend, about what happened. She helped me make an appointment at a clinic. I knew I couldn't keep the baby and I couldn't go through with the pregnancy. I was selfish; I didn't want to bring a child into the world after what had happened. So we made an appointment.

"On the way inside people screamed at me, calling me a murderer, a whore, a slut, that I deserve everything that happened to me and that God will punish me for my sins. Sarah had to fill out the forms for me, I couldn't stop shaking. A nurse called out my name and we went back. The doctor examined me, told me what was going to happen. He was going to inject me with something that killed the fetus right away and then he was going to remove it. It was all over in less than an hour. Sarah stroked my head as I lay there afterwards; I was so out of it that I don't know how I made it back to her house.

"As soon as I got into her bed, I curled up and slept for a day. Sarah told me later that it was a boy; I would have had a son. I was depressed for quite awhile, I didn't know how to deal with what had happened. Sarah made me go to some counseling session, group therapy. I was able to accept the rape, but then becoming pregnant and then terminating it was more difficult. Sarah suggested that we mourn the baby, as a way of accepting what had happened. I tried to find him a name that conveyed how I felt. I asked her, she suggested Jabez, it's Hebrew for sorrow. His name is Jabez, he would have been born in June; he'd be seven right now. The only people who know this are Sarah, the doctor, and you."

Malcolm gently nudged her hand open and laced his fingers in with hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You didn't have to tell me."

Hoshi looked over at him, his hand still entwined with hers. "I just thought that.."

"I didn't mean in it in they way it sounded. I'm just curious, why me?"

"We've been through a lot together, I remember you holding me as I shook when we were back there in that place. I know how much you value other people's trust. I know I surprised you when I asked about Gina. I want you to know that I trust you enough to know about Jabez. Malcolm, I..."

"Thank you." Malcolm squeezed her hand, "Thank you for taking care of me back there. I know I wasn't the easiest person to be stuck with. And thank you for trusting me."

Hoshi leaned against him; she wrapped an arm around him. She felt him lean back against her. They sat like that, both of them relishing the silence.


End file.
